Happy Father's Day, Mom!

Donald Miller is one of my favorite authors, possibly because I agree with almost everything he says or writes. Due to my ample free time on summer break, I've been doing a lot of reading. Currently I'm reading Miller's Father Fiction: "Chapters for a Fatherless Generation". At the beginning of the book, Miller opens up with how he used to hate talking about father issues, not only because of the emotional challenges, but because he hated the self-pity tone it seemed to take. I know exactly how he feels and with the ever-looming father's day approaching, it only seemed fitting that this is the book on my nightstand.

As I read the last pages, I could hardly contain my emotions. Miller writes of a book by Antjie Krog that detailed the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa formed by Nelson Mandela after the apartheid. Before the commision came to be, Bishop Desmond Tutu was asked who he thought should sit in position of the TRC. Tutu responded by asking for "wounded healers" which he said were "people who have the authority of awful experiences, experiences that educated them toward empathy and yet have withing themselves hearts willing to forgive." He credited this ability to a deep spiritual life and I knew where Donald Miller was heading with this. Throughout the entire book the question of "why" is ever present but it is summed up in the final paragraph of the book. As I read this, my heart almost seemed to stop and I could barely catch my breath because I knew that God was speaking to not only me, but anyone in this world who did not luck out in the dad department. Miller wrote: "I knew as I read this that if these people {wounded healers} who had suffered unconscionable wrongs could rise in dignity, God would expect nothing less from you and me, having encountered lesser pain. And I think Bishop Tutu's insight is a fitting thought with which to close this book. If I have a prayer for you and for the millions who were abandoned by fathers, it is that we would not be arrogant victims but wounded healers. I can only perceive this as a dignified calling."

When my dad left our family, I never felt like a victim, mainly because I had a mother who refused to be victimized. She showed me what it meant to be strong and carry on no matter what unexpected hurdles life throws you. Although there were many things she could have said to my sisters and I, never a bad word was spoken of my father in front of us, and because of that, she was a true example and role model of a wounded healer for myself and my sisters. Grounded in our faith and love of God, she led me to know that no matter my Earthly circumstances, I had a Heavenly father who would never leave me or abandon me. I am so thankful that God created my mother to be strong enough and Godly enough to lead two roles in my life, both mother and father. For that reason alone, I'll never feel as though I was shorted a father because I wasn't. I was given a mother who could "rise in dignity" no matter the wrongs she faced. And with that I say, Happy Father's Day, Mom! God sure knew what He was doing when He made you my mother and father!